Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant- 12

This rant is dedicated to Indo- Canadians who did every possible thing to let me down. When I was leaving India, my dad told me,” Beta! Be with your own people as they will help their own community.” I was pretty sure that his advise will be worthy for me in this new land. But when I entered the doors of Canada, my uncle told me something which was entirely opposite of what my dad had told. The very next day he took me to a bank where I was supposed to open my account. He took me to an Indian lady and asked her to help us in this context. To my surprise, she said that they were closing in 45 mins so they wont be able to attend us. My chachu was upset with this thing. He took me to another branch where he complained about that lady. He is very particular about these things and he knows how to get things done. Then we were entertained by the manager who guided me with all the things related to bank. He was satisfied with his services and appreciated him. After all this, he told me,” See Beta! You are in Canada and learn one thing that in Canada, your own people will let you down and with this instance what he said sounded correct.” I was in a dilemma and had so many thoughts that were fiddling over my mind. I thought not all people are like that. I was full of faith and positivity during my initial days in Canada.

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But thanx to these so called Indo- Canadians who badly proved me wrong with every step I took. Now I am almost an year old in this country. I help all those people who are planning to come to Canada. I dont give them false hopes but a reality check about these great people. In this one year, I realised that such people will never let you rise. So, who are these people? They are those people who are now Canadians but cannot change their so called contaminated minds. They reward you with their taunts, discourage you with their high status, crush you with their own praise and mock you at your Nationality when they themselves belong to that clan.

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When I was getting out of TTC bus, I was almost about to slip because of snow, when an Indo- Canadian remarked as a ‘Stupid Indian.’ That was the first attack on my Nationality by my own people. I just gave a staunch stare and went out.

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The next instance was an EPIC! I overheard a group of ladies talking to each other. They were saying that these days every other person is coming to Canada. They are making our Canada a village, so called Villagers who just want to get PR. Wow! What a remark, right? I was wondering that these women were calling our India a village, then who are they? Are they not villagers, who came much before us and now have a PR, so that they can give their own Nation this remark? Hats off to their sensibility.

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I have met great people in Canada who left no stone unturned to let me down. Be it at work place, college or any other place. I would like to thank those cheaters, rascals,morons who have not only let me down but also their own community down. When other people gave their introductions in college, they said they were Brazilians, Chinese, Vietnamese, Canadian but when people of our Nation gave, they said we are from Mumbai, Delhi, Punjab, Gujarat, South but very rare said that they were from India. The only similarity between India and Canada is that they are multi-cultural countries and respect everyone. Then why in Canada we cannot come as a whole and say we are from India? Afterol, it is our Nationality. Here we are representing our country, not a particular cult or community. Learn to respect each other for God’s sake.

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Coming to Racism, forget others, lets talk about our own people. My Tamilian friend was beaten by a group of Punjabi students because he had won a certain game. Two Punjabi guys gave a racist comment on my friend who had a darker complexion, thinking that she is a Negro and doesn’t understand Hindi. I was refused a job because I am a Punjabi and have a fairer skin. A Chinese girl was beaten brutally infront of a gas station by some Indians because she was a Chinese. A Gujarati guy made racist comment on two Punjabi girls. My resume was thrown in a garbage by an Indo Canadian Restaurant owner because I am an Indian. Punjabi owners hate to keep Punjabi students at their basements. Superb!

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To add more, I have some splendid personalities with super judgemental powers. They judge on stupidest things. They think that you have befriended them because you want to go in their car. Moreover, such people think that you are using them to get their things done but in reality you are just looking for a friend. Salute to their mentalities!

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Why we Indians hate each other in Canada? This is because there are people among us who have painted this picture. After meeting such people, even now I hate such double faced cheap people. They die if you rise. They will burn to ashed if they get to know, you have a job or you have some money to support yourself. It is a shame on these people who have let me down. They thought that they will break me but sorry to you folks! You have made me stronger. With every taunt you gave me, with every betrayal you gifted me, with every demotivation you bestowed over me, has made me a survivor. Today after an year, after all those endless sufferings, struggles I have realised that these bad things were meant to happen. This is because God wanted me to show the other side of the coin. My notion, that this world is full of beautiful and good people finally breathed its last breath. I know that this world has some good and more of bad people. It is either right or either wrong.

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Moving forward, I met some wonderful people here who added positivity in my life. They are my extended family in Canada. They were always there to support me, provide me links, give me reality checks, guide me and their struggle stories made me realise that they also went through these trials and tribulations, so I am no indifferent from them. It is parts and parcel of life. This is the reason when I meet a new Immigrant, I tell them the harsh realities so that they are prepared for the worst. Canada goes with no trusting anyone, no showering favors on anyone policy. Stay away from such double faced, insensitive Indo- Canadians.

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My one year of frustration is gone. I have thrown  away negativity,stress out of my system and now I am ready for the new challenges. So dear troubles, please do come my way so that I can kick your ass off and move forward as a stronger entity.

 

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Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant- 11

Hello beautiful people,

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I hope you all are doing amazing in your lives and many of you might be missing my updates on Confessions of an Immigrant. Well, past few months have been super busy with assignments, final exams and with this, I have successfully completed my semester as well as the course. So, now I can say a Very Happy New Year to you all. You might want to know how my New Year was. Isnt it?

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Well, for the first time I was alone on 31st December, 2017. I spent the last few minutes alone at my place and cut the cake. I wished my family and talked to people just to get over my loneliness. Coming to resolutions, I have not made any till now. Winters have taken a hault in my life. Earlier I was dying to see the snow, feel the first touch of it but all went in vain when I got terribly sick for a week or so. I couldn’t enjoy the snow and trust me guys, living in -20 temperature is terrible. I was wondering that my friends in India cry over 17 degree, what will happen to them if they have to witness this period. Now, I badly want this stupid snow to end. One more thing I learnt here that diseases, flu in Canada are way too different as compared to India so if you are in Canada and in this weather then you better take a flu shot when you are perfectly fine. It is free of cost and anyone can take it from Shoppers Drug Mart.

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Winters are depressing to be frank and this cold climate makes you really lathargic and you tend to miss your classes but we couldn’t even do that as we had those stupid in class assignments which were a matter of life and death for all of us. Thanks to these in class that actually passed all of us.

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These past few months have been hectic and many new bombs were exploded on us. I got to know about people, their true colours and what not. It was terrible knowing the fact that the people you felt were close to you, came out to be stupid morons or rather say back bitchers. I have met new people as well who were gem of a person. Not only this, I realised that our teachers can be good and worst at the same time. We praised and cursed at the same time.

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I just went to Stratford for a quick vacation where I learnt playing Bukaro game which was as hilarious and brainy. I played it with my other set of family and we almost spent 4 hours playing that.

Not only this, my friends have named me Miss Accident Prone as I have fallen on snow almost 4-5 times. It sounds hilarious but the after pain is excruciating. All thanx to my fear to walk on snow. Thankfully my bones are not broken. Lol.

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I have developed connection with writing poetry on Yourquote which is my solace these days. Homesickness is not that much these days as I feel more attached and connected to my family. When I do video chats with my friends, relatives and others, I feel so better and charged. You all are my support system and I feel healed.

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My search to find the best place for eating Butter Chicken is still going on. I tried four restaurants which turned out to be extremely stupid and they surely turned my mood off.

Motivation comes in all ways. So, there was a training session where my team had to teach the whole class how to make Chinese Paper Lamp and I wished everyone Happy New Year in Chinese. The training session was fun and I learnt that I am a confident person and handle a session very well. The team work and spirit taught me many things. I got close to my team and learnt alot from their ideas and skills.

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One more thing happened was my old connections. I am reviving my old friendships, connections and meeting my old friends who are coming to Canada and who have been there already so that makes me more happy these days. Time spent with them has been amazing and would love to do that all over again and again. Cheers to old friends and their friendships.

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This year I am surely planning to visit Niagara Falls. I hope this happens soon but will definitely go in summers as in winters they are frozen.

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That is all I have to convey, will be back with another story and discussion issue.

Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant- 9

It took me 5 months to realise that writing confessions on my blog gives some sort of peace to me. My tired mind gets relaxed while writing it. The past two months have been a roller coaster ride. I hardly knew what the hell was I doing and where I was going. The non stop assignments, tests made me so busy that I didn’t even get a single minute to think like what the hell was I doing with my life.

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The days in Canadian lifestyle have never been good for an immigrant. At times it is the never ending homesickness, the grief of losing your loved ones, the situations, managing finances, trusting wrong people and to add more, the jobless times. There are times when you feel homeless inspite of living in an apartment. Sometimes you are so alone in your class. You have a company of 39 more classmates still it feels lonely. Only at the time of in class you realise you have classmates as thats the time you talk to them.

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In this one semester I guess I have lived those segments which I have never went through in my past 21 years. I ended up meeting wrong people at wrong time and made mistakes which could have avoided. I won’t say I am sad, upset or depressed. In fact a feeling of aggression hover over mind where I badly want to do soemthing but I can’t. I try to mend the broken pieces of my life but always end up breaking new pieces. Every time the struggles are doubled or tripled. When we were in school we were taught two things, “HELP OTHERS!” ” BE A TRUE FRIEND TO SOMEONE WHO IS IN NEED!” Well, thankyou my dear teachers for these two things but unfortunately in Canada the situation is reverse. Canada goes with three rules, “THINK ABOUT YOURSELF!” “NEVER HELP OTHERS!” “NEVER TRUST OTHERS, NOT EVEN YOUR CLOSED ONES!”

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After going through a major down phase I realised this thing. Sometimes you learn by falling down. But what you learn from that downfall makes you. It is your life and you make the best out of it. The exam phase taught me one thing about teachers. They are generous in giving marks and adjusting the scores. These assignments actually saved us. Even in Canada bad things happen to Teachers. They are misjudged. Here also, our teacher was accused of something which for which she was not at fault. She was hurt and left the college. She performed the duty of a true teacher by conducting the exams. She could have left the job immediately. But she never did. When she hugged me and cried, that was the moment I realised, how dedicated she was. The whole semester she was telling us about the major assignment and she gave us extensions for that. After all that struggle and hardwork we got our grades but what she got? An accusation! I have never seen such a behavior and ached my soul. This incident actually made me respect her even more. Before going she told me, Surbhi, now you have a story to tell to your readers and here I am writing about her. I can only say, I will miss you Mila.

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Today I was in my most bad spirits when all of sudden out of the blew my friend called me. She knew I was not in a good mood. And to make the mood light she asked me to tell everything what was going on my mind as she has gone through all those things in these 3 years so she can imagine my situation. I felt light after telling her my thoughts and made it lighter by telling her about her situations and how she found a way out. She made me realise that there is a way out to everything. Its just you need to figure them out and sort it in the best possible way. At times you have to put a major cut down on things you want to have and at times you need to sacrifice your sleep to earn something. Hard work pays off. She cited those girly examples which actually cor- related to the things. I felt a bit sorted in my mind while talking to her. So immigrants, if you ever feel in that situation, talk to a friend, listen to a song. For me its talking to a friend who has gone through so much and writing my thoughts out so that I can be at peace.

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Parents are always with you. Sometimes you end up making mistakes but its parents who will listen to you, love you and give you the right direction. Your parents are your family and trust me, nobody will come to rescue you or help you when you will be in need. At times, you can manage on your own but then their are cases where everything can’t be managed on your own. Maybe its best to talk to them and tell them how you feel about them. Since you are away and busy, you can’t tell them how much you care about them, you can’t express your true emotions. At times you need to tell them the best things that has happened to you but back home its night and you have to wait for the morning. Now in morning you are late and you are unable to call them and tell them the news. Then the news become a casual story. And here comes the misunderstandings. Love is on both side but this stupid moron distance and time gap acts like an evil. Same goes with friends and relatives. The best taunts you ever hear is “You have gone so busy or you have forgotten us.” Nobody has ever forgotten you, you will always be there in the heart, its just the time and priorities which have changed.

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I have cleared my semester1 and now one more to go. Things can be harsh and harsher but you should know that you are a fighter and you have to fight every battle alone and inspire yourself all the time because your parents, friends and relatives will never be there with you all the time. It is you and you only who has to work hard, make them proud and bleed till you succeed.

Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant-7

Hello lovelies,

I am back with yet another confession and I know many of you were waiting for my update but I was stuck with a Canadian Dynamite called Mid- Term. Finally its over and my Reading Week too. So, now tomorrow I will go back to my college and again back to that studies. But many new interesting things happened in this course of time.

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The latest event being my Cousin’s Ladies Sangeet. This weekend was more than fun, excitement and a roller coaster ride. I really loved the decoration. It was combination of Punjabi and Gujarati culture which I was looking forward to. There was a stall where mehandi keeps, parandi, bangles and some other sweets were there. Everything was from home, starting from scented candles, with stands, hukkas, cushions, colourful curtains, umbrellas. Now umbrella had something different in it. They were stitched with phulkari dupattas which made them look more ethnic. Further, I met my relatives which was an amazing catchup with cousins and family. We danced alot and some of the dance was choreographed.

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Bride’s Mom

Coming to the bridal shower which I had missed was also a great show and I just have a picture of it. I wish I could attend the bridal shower. But there were some props too like ‘Bride to be’, ‘Bride’s friends’ or some ‘bridemates’ etc.

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Sisterly Love

Mid Terms didnt seem like mid terms. We had no holidays and they were taken place in the given periods only and in given time. So, it was not like our Indian system that the exams and datesheets were given, then we used to give exams and go back. We practically had no datesheets. For 2 subjects we had mid term quiz which we had in the class and it was objective. All the papers were objective except the two. But I couldn’t feel like that I was giving any exam. We have to answer in the question paper only so we are not given the question papers back.

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first time gulab Jamun in Canada 🙂

The assignments were interesting but hectic. My group gave our best and we could score well in that. For the first time, I got a chance to compile the work and then only I realised how tough it is to be mechanical and go in a sync when it comes to compiling the work of different people into one. Some experiences are always different, yet it teaches us a new lesson.

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The next best segment was the live concert. I still don’t know who the singers were and my apologies for being so naive. There was a restaurant opening and the customers were given free food and some discounts for the other food if we order. The music just relieved my nerves and I wore a gown.

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with dadi and bua

Life has become fast paced and how time flies, you just never come to know. But slowly things are getting better and I am understanding the lifestyle here. I am still a learner and will surely learn new things everyday.

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Author’s Advice: Life is easy but it is on us, how we handle it, either by complicating it or by just facing the reality and moving on with a positive spirit.

 

Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant-6

Hello lovelies,

Life in Canada is so hectic and busy that you hardly get time to do your daily routine things. At times you forget to do your laundry or you hardly get a chance. At times you are so stuck with your assignments that you don’t get a single minute to breathe. Last week was a roller coaster ride for me. Can you imagine I was working hard on my assignment even during the weekends. I have not visited or met any of relatives in these past weeks which is really irritating.

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Wrote this quote for a contest!

Earlier I missed my Niagara Trip and this time I missed my cousin’s Bridal Shower. Well guys, Bridal Shower is a celebration and Gala time for the bride where they invite relatives and guests, bless the bride and enjoy their heart out. This was a theme based bridal shower where everyone wore White dress and the bride wore a Black dress. I can guess that she might have been looking good. But I missed the chance to see this as in India we never have Bridal Shower. It is the worst feeling when you are close to your family and still not be able to attend it.

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Side view of Centennial College

Another bomb that exploded in my Immigrant life apart from these hectic assignments is the mid term. Can you imagine that a teacher walks in the class and suddenly tells you that you have a mid term next week. Then another teacher says and its so hard to digest. Above all, the assignments, group work and everything goes hand in hand. Nothing stops, no prepatories given. Now I realised, this is Canada.

 

The only positive part was that I met my relative when I was unwell. He gave me the medicines which healed me so quickly. Another thing is, this is June, the month of holidays in India. My mom is in her maternal home and this is the first time I missed being there. The memories I had with them are memorable.

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New wind Sheeter!

I don’t understand one thing, inspite of getting so dead and tired how can anyone come up with a happident smile? This thought is so infectious. Some of the people I came across with are great. For the first time in Canada, I celebrated a friend’s birthday. This was something new. I realised that for the first time in my life I will celebrate my birthday without my parents and best friends. This made me nostalgic.

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I have started some of the reading but I realised my speed has slowed down. Assignments are the only monsters in my life. But when you get an A or A+ life seems bearable.

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Next week Father’s Day is coming and again this time I won’t be with him. Earlier, I used to be in Delhi and now I will be away from him. I miss my dad alot. I love him so much and I wish I could get a hug from him. He is unwell and I will pray that he gets well soon. Stay happy papa. I am your bahadur bacha. I love you..:)

Author’s Note: Sorry for updating so late! I will be back with more such confessions so stay tuned.

Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant-5

This is wierd, whenever I write a new episode, my post starts with apologies. But can’t help it. Things are going on hectic and a running mode. My simple, stagnant life is running. Here time plays a major role. You can’t afford to be late. I was working on a Law assognment today but I realised that this is my limit and I need a break. So, I thought of venting out my thoughts.  These two weeks have been totally confusing and unpredictable. Many changes have taken place.

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The most important change is my eagerness to learn the Canadian accent. So, I have started watching Netflix. I am watching seasons of Pretty Little Liars, Supernatural, Riverdale and there are some which I am trying to watch. Moreover, I listen to English songs and I realised that they are relaxants. They serve as a catalyst in my life.

I got more interactive with my classmates and got to know many things about them. They help me with many things. They talk about their cultures and lives which interests me the most. They do tell me that they have some stories which they would love to share and it excites me alot. Groups have been made and my group is different. We have group discussions and we have a good understanding. The most horrible thing is APA citation. Actually, I am used to MLA citation and with APA style, I get confused sometimes. Last week we had 3 assignments. I was super tied up. Guess what, I missed the date of Niagara Falls trip. I thought its on 15 June but it happened last week on 3 rd June. Actually, 15 number was 15$ and this is pathetic. I so wanted to punch myself. Anyhow, why to lament for the gone chance. I will get many more chances to explore things. For now, assignments, scores and grades matter. Till now I am getting A+ or A which is great.

An improvement about playing pool is that, my balls finally hit the right point. I am still a slow learner but its great. Moreover, I got many new facts. I now know about Uber app, uber eats and many others. I have started writing about recipes I make. I made cornflakes sabji, banana chips snacks and many other experiments which turned out to be successful. Here, grocery shopping is the most dangerous thing for me. I always end up spending 3-4 hours which is worst.

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Since Ramzan is going on, it is difficult for muslims but they do the things religiously. I went to new Tim Hortons which is in Sheppard side. Mosque is just opposite it. The night view is just so awesome. I just can’t believe it. It is the most beautiful site one can ever notice.

By the way, I found one more place to sleep in the college. There are relaxing sofas in D block where you can see the site of college too. Moreover, the other place is near the cafeteria where you find a seat just like a bed. I feel relaxed but sleep is out of my side.

I always talk to my parents and friends. I miss them so much. I am not homesick though but their hug is the only thing that I miss. So, I have started this Magical Hug thing with my roommate. With this thing, I feel good and she thinks I am becoming her lucky charm. Whenever I don’t hug her, her day goes bad so I always make a point to hug her. This is wierd but its good as far as its going on a positive note.

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I am in love with Junior Chicken of McDonalds. I have stopped consuming French Vanilla because there are other things that I want to try and explore. I tried mcCafe coffee which is yuck as ever so you better never try it. I hate the sugar here. 6 spoons of sugar makes 1 spoon of sugar in India. So, soemtimes I feel I am sugarless things. Green Tea I always take without sugar. Its only black coffee that I take with some amount of sugar. Blueberry muffin is the best thing I have ever tasted. It keeps me pumped and happy. Begel with cheese is the stupidest thing I ever had. I seriously hate Begel. I want to try butter chicken and fish. I miss curry , rajma rice and even that stupid ghiya, rama tori prepared by my mom. I wish I had listened to her before. I just know some of the things.

I can’t believe it that its been more than a month that I am away from everyone and reading too. My reading has slowed down. I get cravings for book reading but the assignments, quiz keeps me busy. I just don’t want my writing to stop as that would be tragic. So, at times I force myself to write.

I have made friends. The reason I don’t write about them is, I don’t want to share their life stories. If I start writing, I will end up telling their stories which would be wrong. They trust me and so do I. But I have got caring friends. Thats all. Now going to write down my Law assignment. Will be back soon. Stay tuned.

 

 

Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant-4

Hello lovelies,

 

I am really sorry for not updating the confession last Sunday. Things have been tied up and I got super busy with the assignments, quiz and a lot has been going on in my life. Life of an immigrant is not at all easy. At times, you are homesick, you feel sad for no reason, you are helpless sometimes, you are unable to express yourself and moreover, its hard to tell your heart out to others. Most of the people are strangers for you and same goes for them. It is hard to adjust with both such situations.

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Timetable!

 

Last week was the toughest. I am having issues with coping up with the things. Sometimes, days are easy while sometimes days are bit harsh. Can you guys imagine, a person who has worked all the time like a hardcore professional is jobless in this country. Maybe destiny has some other plans for me. Every time, I used to think destiny can’t do anything to me but here life is drastic. There is a lot of silence and earlier I was loving the silence. But it was just a mirage for me. Now, silence kills me. When you have nobody to talk to and you end up becoming a listener.

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Early Morning!

 

Some of my soulmates have been Tim Hortons, McDonalds, Station Express and Church. Out of these Tim Hortons and Station Express remains open 24/7 hours. It is the best time to introspect yourself and do your assignments. Lifestyle is different here. People are more active at late nights as they do night jobs. I met a girl at Station Express and after listening to her story, I got to know about different things.

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Formals!

 

I searched for jobs this week and literally went to many places. I applied at 114 places and went to 21 places for interviews. Rejection is hard to digest when you are clueless, like why you are being rejected. This Sunday I got to know that I was overqualified for the jobs I was asking. Coming to self confidence, self respect, just one thing to say, “Just crush it!” It will break you with every passing day. Don’t wait for the situations to do for you. Here people literally beg for jobs by saying,’ I need the job.’ For me, its hard as I have never gone to that extend for the job. But if situations went worse then surely, my self respect will die. For now, last breaths of my self respect are going on. Hope is keeping me strong else I would have been broken by now.

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Silence…

 

I met many people who are homeless. They don’t look poor but they don’t have money to rent or buy a house. They live at Tim Hortons, Ellesmere side. They sleep there and in the morning do the breakfast there. Once I went there with my friends to complete my assignment and I got to know about this place. I once talked to a person and he told me his story which was really heart touching. Life is a struggle everywhere, doesn’t matter whether you are in India or in Canada.

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Finally Indian Food!

 

Survival is hard. I met a guy who told me that he had to starve for a week because he didn’t have his money. His debit balance was zero and he never asked his family for the money. I asked him how he survived. He said he survived on green Tea and lost a lot of weight. So, when somebody says to you that they are losing weight, then probably they are surviving on green tea.

 

There is only one positive thing that happened, I have started dancing and I am learning how to play pool too. After reading, these two things keep me at peace. As usual, most of my day is spent in the library only. Canada is a mystery and I am trying to solve it.