Confessions of an Immigrant

Confessions of an Immigrant- 9

It took me 5 months to realise that writing confessions on my blog gives some sort of peace to me. My tired mind gets relaxed while writing it. The past two months have been a roller coaster ride. I hardly knew what the hell was I doing and where I was going. The non stop assignments, tests made me so busy that I didn’t even get a single minute to think like what the hell was I doing with my life.


The days in Canadian lifestyle have never been good for an immigrant. At times it is the never ending homesickness, the grief of losing your loved ones, the situations, managing finances, trusting wrong people and to add more, the jobless times. There are times when you feel homeless inspite of living in an apartment. Sometimes you are so alone in your class. You have a company of 39 more classmates still it feels lonely. Only at the time of in class you realise you have classmates as thats the time you talk to them.


In this one semester I guess I have lived those segments which I have never went through in my past 21 years. I ended up meeting wrong people at wrong time and made mistakes which could have avoided. I won’t say I am sad, upset or depressed. In fact a feeling of aggression hover over mind where I badly want to do soemthing but I can’t. I try to mend the broken pieces of my life but always end up breaking new pieces. Every time the struggles are doubled or tripled. When we were in school we were taught two things, “HELP OTHERS!” ” BE A TRUE FRIEND TO SOMEONE WHO IS IN NEED!” Well, thankyou my dear teachers for these two things but unfortunately in Canada the situation is reverse. Canada goes with three rules, “THINK ABOUT YOURSELF!” “NEVER HELP OTHERS!” “NEVER TRUST OTHERS, NOT EVEN YOUR CLOSED ONES!”


After going through a major down phase I realised this thing. Sometimes you learn by falling down. But what you learn from that downfall makes you. It is your life and you make the best out of it. The exam phase taught me one thing about teachers. They are generous in giving marks and adjusting the scores. These assignments actually saved us. Even in Canada bad things happen to Teachers. They are misjudged. Here also, our teacher was accused of something which for which she was not at fault. She was hurt and left the college. She performed the duty of a true teacher by conducting the exams. She could have left the job immediately. But she never did. When she hugged me and cried, that was the moment I realised, how dedicated she was. The whole semester she was telling us about the major assignment and she gave us extensions for that. After all that struggle and hardwork we got our grades but what she got? An accusation! I have never seen such a behavior and ached my soul. This incident actually made me respect her even more. Before going she told me, Surbhi, now you have a story to tell to your readers and here I am writing about her. I can only say, I will miss you Mila.


Today I was in my most bad spirits when all of sudden out of the blew my friend called me. She knew I was not in a good mood. And to make the mood light she asked me to tell everything what was going on my mind as she has gone through all those things in these 3 years so she can imagine my situation. I felt light after telling her my thoughts and made it lighter by telling her about her situations and how she found a way out. She made me realise that there is a way out to everything. Its just you need to figure them out and sort it in the best possible way. At times you have to put a major cut down on things you want to have and at times you need to sacrifice your sleep to earn something. Hard work pays off. She cited those girly examples which actually cor- related to the things. I felt a bit sorted in my mind while talking to her. So immigrants, if you ever feel in that situation, talk to a friend, listen to a song. For me its talking to a friend who has gone through so much and writing my thoughts out so that I can be at peace.


Parents are always with you. Sometimes you end up making mistakes but its parents who will listen to you, love you and give you the right direction. Your parents are your family and trust me, nobody will come to rescue you or help you when you will be in need. At times, you can manage on your own but then their are cases where everything can’t be managed on your own. Maybe its best to talk to them and tell them how you feel about them. Since you are away and busy, you can’t tell them how much you care about them, you can’t express your true emotions. At times you need to tell them the best things that has happened to you but back home its night and you have to wait for the morning. Now in morning you are late and you are unable to call them and tell them the news. Then the news become a casual story. And here comes the misunderstandings. Love is on both side but this stupid moron distance and time gap acts like an evil. Same goes with friends and relatives. The best taunts you ever hear is “You have gone so busy or you have forgotten us.” Nobody has ever forgotten you, you will always be there in the heart, its just the time and priorities which have changed.


I have cleared my semester1 and now one more to go. Things can be harsh and harsher but you should know that you are a fighter and you have to fight every battle alone and inspire yourself all the time because your parents, friends and relatives will never be there with you all the time. It is you and you only who has to work hard, make them proud and bleed till you succeed.

Book Reviews

Book Review of Pride and Prejudice

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen is one of the Victorian novels that was first published in 1813. This novel takes us to the era where women were deprived of their rights and were to stay at home as showpieces. They were to stay beautiful. Readers would be surprised to know that when this novel was published, Jane Austen’s direct name wasn’t revealed and she was never given the credit of it. It was written that from the author of Sense and Sensibility. With this, one can clearly make out the situation. Even some of the female novelists took pseudo names to get published. Lets dive into the details :

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Cover- Well, I read the old as well as the new one. But I would certainly talk about the new one. This one appealed to me as we can see a girl beautifully dressed.

Title- Many of you might not be knowing that the title of the book was not Pride and Prejudice earlier. The author wanted to give it a name ‘First Impressions’ because while creating the characters she studied them through their first impressions only so it made sense to the title. But she while she was editing and re- writing her work she changed this and came up with Pride and Prejudice. The draft was written three times before given for final publication. Yes, we do find Prejudice in it and the Pride is seen too.


Setting- The setting takes place in various places like Hertfordshire, Derbyshire. These are the real places in England but the states mentioned in the book are fictional.

Plot- In Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen creates a picture of the small, cocooned world of the middle class gentry — with their commonplace joys and their commonplace sorrows. The central concern of this “comedy of manners” is Mrs. Bennet’s dogged efforts to find suitable husbands for her eldest daughters. Of course, Mrs. Bennet’s judgements cannot be trusted, for she is a nagging wife, an ineffectual mother, and a social misfit throughout the novel. Her repeated and continued foolishness is one of the things that holds the plot together into a unified whole.


The plot’s focus on marriage is seen from the very beginning of the story. The arrival of Mr. Bingley, ‘a single man of large fortune’ at near-by Netherfield immediately fires the imagination of Mrs. Bennet. An acquaintance is struck and what follows is a series of parties, balls, and teas, which are very essential to the plot; it is at these social gatherings that the four main characters -Bingley and Jane and Darcy and Elizabeth – are brought together. They also serve to illustrate the culture, manners, fashions, pretensions, and snobberies of the English gentry at the time.

Themes- There are variety of themes which draws our attention. the first being the theme of Love. Pride and Prejudice contains one of the most cherished love stories in English literature: the courtship between Darcy and Elizabeth. The other theme is of reputation. Here Lydia is the mouthpiece of the author. When she elopes, the family feels betrayed and is more concerned about their reputation and status. Even they are ready to disown their own daughter. Further, the theme of class is related to reputation,in that both reflect the strictly regimented nature of life for the middle and upper classes in Regency England.

Characterisation- The author has done fabulous job in delineation of the characters. She has added life to the characters.Elizabeth is my favorite because she is so independent, headstrong and outspoken.  She refuses to marry for any reason other than love, even if that means she doesn’t end up marrying someone who can give her a better economic and social status.  She has her faults, but she is not afraid to admit to them when she knows she’s wrong.  Her mother and two of her younger sisters annoy her as much as they annoy me, and she can’t stand the snotty sisters of Mr. Bingley, whom I despise every time I read the book.  It is apparent from the first chapter that Elizabeth takes after her father, who is also headstrong and outspoken.  He loves to put his annoying wife in her place, but he does it in very humorous ways without being too nasty.  I get a lot of laughs out of Pride and Prejudice every time I read it, and most of those laughs are courtesy of Mr. Bennet.Finally, Mr. Darcy is infuriating and endearing at the same time.

Style- This novel is written in Horatian satire because she wanted to highlight the mannerisms of 18 th century through her characters like Mrs. Bennet being a foolish lady. She easily conveyed her message using  simple yet witty style. Even we could find traces of Romanticism in this piece of writing.

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